Every time I listen to my heart, I let my guard down and get hurt all over again. I can't keep trying to fight for something that clearly you don't want. Your action speak so much louder than the words that come out of your mouth. What you did Friday was the all time low. It's really time for me to let this go. Because I'm killing myself within and I'm beginning to hate you. But I fault myself because I'm allowing it. Teaching you excatly how to treat me. I've always been the one who've said I would stick by my marriage because I truly believe in death do us part. However, at what part does death come to you? I just don't have the energy to even fight for this anymore.
I have alot to get together and I know it's going to be a struggle for me financial but hey I'm stronger than what I think I am. I don't want to be in a marriage just for the finances. My friends say I should stay long enough to get myself together because I've been in this marriage to long to just walk away. But I say why should I have to do that. I would rather do it on my own. Because I never wanted to be that type of couple, who's just in the marriage for convience. You have know clue what you want. I think it's an image thing that you are not willing to walk away from. Becuase it can't be love? Not the way you act. Love isn't supose to be like that. June is definitely going to be a big and emotional month for me; but I have to do what I need to do. I have alot to think about.
